30 is an important milestone in a woman’s life. It is a very special time in her life. She is at a time when she has left childhood behind and has started enjoying adulthood.
If you are a woman close to your thirties, this is my list of 30 things you should have:
1. An education – This is the best investment you could ever make in your life. Continue learning because as long as you keep learning, you keep growing.
2. A vocation: In addition to your education, become a professional in your career or area of specialisation. Get trained and get the necessary qualifications.
3. A savings account in your own name (and enough money in it) – One of the wisest investments you can make is starting a savings account early. Apportion at least 10% of your earnings to this account and watch it grow.
4. A sense of humor, style and purpose – Humor is very attractive and will get you through some tough patches. A sense of style lets you stand out from your peers and having purpose ensures you pursue your goals with focus.
5. The wisdom to fall in love with your eyes open – Know what you want out of your love relationships and avoid being carried away with the ‘feeling’ of love.
6. The perfect suit to wear for a job interview – As you move higher in life, there’s sure to be numerous job interviews. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so make sure your suit gives the very best first impression.
7. A set of matching luggage – You may need to go on vacation sometime. Do it in style with your set of matching luggage.
8. A matching set of lacy bikini – Who knows? You may need to relax at the beach when you go off on that vacation or go for a swim anytime soon. Make sure your bikini is just perfect for the occasion.
9. A recipe for a meal you are almost perfect at – Even if it’s something basic, make sure you are almost perfect at preparing one complete meal.
10. A first love (and several other loves) – The magic of first love is as painful when it’s over, but the best part of it is that after you cry your eyes out, you let go and become wiser. And when you love again, you will know how to keep it. This time, longer.
11. A broken heart (and the knowledge that you can survive it) – A broken heart means that you tried…at least. Only time (and girlfriends) can heal your broken heart. You can survive it….and love again.
12. One friend that makes you laugh….and one you can always run to – What can we do without close friends? Make friends for life and be a friend yourself.
13. A childhood you are grateful for (though not perfect) – None of us chose our childhood, but we can be grateful for all it taught us (perfect or not).
14. A plan for the future you are looking forward to – Without a plan for your future, how do you know when you get there? Sit down with yourself and write where you see yourself in 3, 5, 10 years and make a plan to get there.
15. A good skin care routine – Glowing skin is the dream of every woman. But it does not just happen. Get a good skin care regimen that is best for your skin type and watch your skin glow.
16. A good hairdresser – A woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Get a hairdresser who understands your hair and can help you maintain it in the best possible way.
17. A tailor who can make drop dead outfits – The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Get a tailor who knows what style really is.
18. A spiritual foundation and faith in God – Maintaining a relationship with God is the best foundation for life. He is your creator and redeemer, so get closer to Him each passing day.
19. A drop dead gorgeous photo of yourself - to remind you that you are beautiful.
20. A best friend – If you fall down, your best friend will pick you up. If you need a hand or a shoulder to cry on, your best friend will be there.
21. A dream - it all starts with a dream. Dream! Let your imagination run wild while you fill up a blank sheet of paper with everything you want to be, do or have. This will keep you going even in the tough times.
22. The phone number of someone who will drop everything and come when you call.
23. A perfectly fitted bra - Wearing the right sized bra is comfortable, helps your posture and aids the lymph flow inside your breasts. Also, since your breasts will spend most of their time in a bra, should they not be comfortable?
24. A pair of jeans that fit just right - Most ladies will wear a pair of jeans at least once a week. Jeans can also be worn for informal and semi-formal events. Having one that fits just right would make you stand out from the crowd.
25. A handbag you can never get tired of - Handbags are one of those accessories a lady can’t do without. A nice, reasonably sized leather handbag will always do the trick.
26. An average proficiency in Microsoft Word and Excel – No matter who you are or what you do, you need to be computer savvy. Start with basic Microsoft Word and Excel, but don’t stop there.
27. Confidence – You are a woman. You are important. Carry yourself as one.
28. Humility – Modesty and an unassuming nature are not signs of weakness. Only a very strong and confident person can be humble. Refuse to get puffed up but remain humble.
29. The guts to say No without feeling guilty – People will always need you to do things for them. Do as much as you can but never choke yourself just to please people. Sometimes you just need to say No.
30. A competitive streak: A desire to be the best and to stand out from the crowd. Make yourself more productive so that you remain relevant.
Friday, 14 June 2013
Thursday, 13 June 2013
9 Ways to Know When You're in Love
This is a question I have to consider for my characters in each romance novel I write, and one I had asked myself several times in the past after meeting one or two people. There are some people you meet and you just know they’re a fantasy or fancy which will fade even the next day. And there are those that tug at your heart and you begin to wonder, could they be THE ONE?
The truth is that if we’re not sure about this, whether deciding to allow a friendship develop into something more or taking the decision to get married, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. These are some of the pointers I came up with to recognize that special person. They are by no means comprehensive and I will not presume to speak for everyone.
1. They’re in your future: This means that when you visualize your future, say 10 to 20 years ahead, you can actually see yourself with this person. They can fit into or support your long term personal as well as professional goals. You also share the same core values that will make living together enjoyable.
2. They become number one in your priorities: We all have our priorities in life, even though these might change with time and situation. Love usually happens at different times for most of us depending on our seasons and when we are ready. So when you fall in love, that person comes at the top of your to-do list and you cannot get them off it.
3. You welcome compromise: Love is a feeling of togetherness and mostly leads to two people spending lots of time in close proximity. You find that with love, a relationship has less disagreements because each person is happy to give in during times of disagreement; and even when you do find yourselves on completely opposing sides, you make up easily afterwards. The beauty of love is that it allows you to see the minuses and overlook them, because what you see at the end of the day is the person you love and not their quirks. Remember love should be for better or for worse.
4. You want to spend time together and they make you feel good: You’re happy and feel high, songs and books begin to make sense, the world is more beautiful. So you want to spend moments together, you talk, go out – to eat, to movies, plays, etc. Being in love makes these periods an enjoyable one for both people, something to look forward to. You also enjoy quiet times together, because there will be down times when none of you is in the mood to go partying and the like.
5. The pain of the past is healed: Love heals and when you do fall in love, there is the tendency that you begin to forget any pains you may have in the past, either from childhood or any failed relationships. It may just be that the person you’re in love with is happy to hear you speak about such pain, or you can be your real self around them, or they give you the support you need to seek adequate help.
6. You worry about their well-being, you want to know all about them: When you fall in love, the object of your affection burrows into your heart. You find that you begin to care about their welfare. Have they eaten, is their car running well, do they have their finances sorted? You ask more questions, you are happy to squeeze time out of your hectic schedule to meet their friends, family and co-workers. You ask the mum their first words, at what age they walked, you name it.
7. There is chemistry: Of course! LOL…Maybe I should have said this one first? Chemistry is a big part of love because we’re all sexual beings and being able to express ourselves through love-making is one of the glues that hold relationships together. However, you have to realize that sex has to be within the context of marriage. There should be no issue of one person coercing or forcing the other into something they’re not ready or willing to do. You should not change your values to satisfy the other person.
8. They can affect you deeply in their actions: Who doesn’t know this? There’s the saying that those you love are the ones with the power to hurt you the most. Yes, and this is why some of us are so scared and afraid of falling in love. Not because we’ve been hurt before, but because we do not want to open ourselves to future pain. So love is a decision, a choice you make to take that risk.
9. You can be yourself with no pretense: If you cannot do this, your love might not be able to last or sustain itself. Most of us wear masks on a daily basis, at work, school, church, with strangers and outsiders. When you fall in love, you want to make a space where you can come home and feel calm and relaxed without worrying about pretending to be what you’re not. At the same time, you find that you are willing to change for the better to please them, so you upgrade your wardrobe, improve your hygiene, party less so as to spend more time, etc.
Finally, these are just some of the ways to recognize love, many more abound. Also, love is personal and for each individual, there may be a different experience. However, love is also universal, so if you see that your love is very different and in a way that negates what others experience, like various forms of abuse, control, etc, then it may not be love. I hope no one finds themselves in this situation and have the support to help them get out if they do.
True love is beautiful and no matter what happens, remains the thing we all search for. May we all find and experience true love.
The truth is that if we’re not sure about this, whether deciding to allow a friendship develop into something more or taking the decision to get married, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. These are some of the pointers I came up with to recognize that special person. They are by no means comprehensive and I will not presume to speak for everyone.
1. They’re in your future: This means that when you visualize your future, say 10 to 20 years ahead, you can actually see yourself with this person. They can fit into or support your long term personal as well as professional goals. You also share the same core values that will make living together enjoyable.
2. They become number one in your priorities: We all have our priorities in life, even though these might change with time and situation. Love usually happens at different times for most of us depending on our seasons and when we are ready. So when you fall in love, that person comes at the top of your to-do list and you cannot get them off it.
3. You welcome compromise: Love is a feeling of togetherness and mostly leads to two people spending lots of time in close proximity. You find that with love, a relationship has less disagreements because each person is happy to give in during times of disagreement; and even when you do find yourselves on completely opposing sides, you make up easily afterwards. The beauty of love is that it allows you to see the minuses and overlook them, because what you see at the end of the day is the person you love and not their quirks. Remember love should be for better or for worse.
4. You want to spend time together and they make you feel good: You’re happy and feel high, songs and books begin to make sense, the world is more beautiful. So you want to spend moments together, you talk, go out – to eat, to movies, plays, etc. Being in love makes these periods an enjoyable one for both people, something to look forward to. You also enjoy quiet times together, because there will be down times when none of you is in the mood to go partying and the like.
5. The pain of the past is healed: Love heals and when you do fall in love, there is the tendency that you begin to forget any pains you may have in the past, either from childhood or any failed relationships. It may just be that the person you’re in love with is happy to hear you speak about such pain, or you can be your real self around them, or they give you the support you need to seek adequate help.
6. You worry about their well-being, you want to know all about them: When you fall in love, the object of your affection burrows into your heart. You find that you begin to care about their welfare. Have they eaten, is their car running well, do they have their finances sorted? You ask more questions, you are happy to squeeze time out of your hectic schedule to meet their friends, family and co-workers. You ask the mum their first words, at what age they walked, you name it.
7. There is chemistry: Of course! LOL…Maybe I should have said this one first? Chemistry is a big part of love because we’re all sexual beings and being able to express ourselves through love-making is one of the glues that hold relationships together. However, you have to realize that sex has to be within the context of marriage. There should be no issue of one person coercing or forcing the other into something they’re not ready or willing to do. You should not change your values to satisfy the other person.
8. They can affect you deeply in their actions: Who doesn’t know this? There’s the saying that those you love are the ones with the power to hurt you the most. Yes, and this is why some of us are so scared and afraid of falling in love. Not because we’ve been hurt before, but because we do not want to open ourselves to future pain. So love is a decision, a choice you make to take that risk.
9. You can be yourself with no pretense: If you cannot do this, your love might not be able to last or sustain itself. Most of us wear masks on a daily basis, at work, school, church, with strangers and outsiders. When you fall in love, you want to make a space where you can come home and feel calm and relaxed without worrying about pretending to be what you’re not. At the same time, you find that you are willing to change for the better to please them, so you upgrade your wardrobe, improve your hygiene, party less so as to spend more time, etc.
Finally, these are just some of the ways to recognize love, many more abound. Also, love is personal and for each individual, there may be a different experience. However, love is also universal, so if you see that your love is very different and in a way that negates what others experience, like various forms of abuse, control, etc, then it may not be love. I hope no one finds themselves in this situation and have the support to help them get out if they do.
True love is beautiful and no matter what happens, remains the thing we all search for. May we all find and experience true love.
6 Reasons To Appreciate Your Mate
Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.
Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated. The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.
Reason 1: It makes them happy
Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.
Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.
When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.
Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.
When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.
Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.
Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”
Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.
Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.
Reason 6: It makes them feel special
Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..
Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:
They’re more quiet than usual
They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
They’re more emotional than normal
They quicker to argue
They say it in so many words
They tell others
They’re sad
Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.
Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.
When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.
Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated. The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.
Reason 1: It makes them happy
Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.
Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.
When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.
Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.
When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.
Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.
Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”
Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.
Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.
Reason 6: It makes them feel special
Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..
Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:
They’re more quiet than usual
They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
They’re more emotional than normal
They quicker to argue
They say it in so many words
They tell others
They’re sad
Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.
Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.
When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.
Thursday, 6 June 2013
IN MEMORY OF A BELOVED MOTHER MRS OTSE
An Angel whispered
take my hand and
come with me
you're work here is done.
I went away to a place
where there's no tears, nor sorrow
only laughter and smiles,
there will be eternal rest
A thousand times we needed you
A thousand times we cried
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died
A heart of gold stopped beating
two twinkling eyes closed........
take my hand and
come with me
you're work here is done.
I went away to a place
where there's no tears, nor sorrow
only laughter and smiles,
there will be eternal rest
A thousand times we needed you
A thousand times we cried
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died
A heart of gold stopped beating
two twinkling eyes closed........
But for those who love, time is
Eternity
Eternity
Rest
in peace MRS OTSE
Monday, 3 June 2013
In Memory of those who died in the Dana Air crash
In Memodana
They ran into the earth
And pierced the heart of men
Explosive like a bomb
Both parties fragments lie
And low there is a tomb
To find them in the grave
153 passengers and crew
On board a flight of doom
At least 10 men on ground
Couldn’t run for their dear lives
Families and friends pick up
The pieces of beloved
And all they are left with
In loving memory of Dana
But cash and kind wouldn’t bring back
The souls of their lost ones
By Pimoey.......
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