Monday 25 November 2013
Friday 22 November 2013
The Birthday of Our Hero
OUR HERO
Some
aunts are the fun shadow of the mother: unencumbered by the daily tasks of
cleaning, bathing and disciplining the child, and able to add extra colour and
excitement to our lives. She believes that life is full of beauty, and this life's beauty is
best determined by the beauty that she brings to others. We have come together
to honour our dear mother, sister, aunty and hero with the words of our mouth
and the desire of our heart on this special day.
Love they
say covereth multitude of sin,
I believe it
is your kind of love they were talking about
You cover
all our shame bear our entire burden,
And still
afford to smile,
I am proud
to call you mami,
I love you
forever.
Happy
Birthday to my lovely sister and mother
Mr.
& Mrs. Babalola
As I ponder
the love that I saw in her eyes,
A Godly love,
given without compromise.
I recall
many times that she stood by my side,
Her voice
ever confident, firm and yet fair,
She’s the
grandest of women to have lived on this earth,
Although she's
not royal by stature or birth.
She’s a woman
of great dignity, honor and strength.
Her merits
are noble, and of admirable length.
She's my Mum,
She's my mentor, my friend and most especially
She is my hero.
Happy Birthday Mrs. Aderibigbe
Babalola
Oladapo Elijah
The
first time I spoke with you on phone you sounded like someone I have known
before
You
were like my sister - yes my sister unfortunately I am the only female child of
my both parents.
But
there was something familiar all the way even when you came to pick me in your
car that day.
Your
children were so much fun to be with they already saw me as their big sister
Now
I really couldn't tell where the connection came from?
It
may not be by blood but I have realised that knowing you means joy to me.
You
inspire me ma! Yes you inspire me
No
doubt you have so many testimonies to give today,
As
it is your birthday, I would want to share and also be a part of your testimony
Because
God has been faithful through the years
Thank
you for being there for me and Oladapo.
Happy
Birthday our mummy Mrs. Temitayo Aderibigbe
Oshodi
Morayo Idowu
She's the best,
She's the smartest,
we did say she's the greatest.
She's very smart,
She's in our heart,
I don't think we'll ever grow apart.
Sure she's faraway,
And we don't see her every day.
But she's our favorite aunt.
We have great memories together.
And we'd be happy if she stayed with us forever.
We wish you Happy Birthday Today.
Inioluwa
& Iseoluwa Babalola
Thursday 19 September 2013
Bishop on How to Heal A Broken Heart
All of us have suffered brutal losses in our lives. No one is exempt from the pain of a broken heart.
For some it’s the death of a child, a family member or loved one. For some it’s the loss of an important relationship. For some it’s a brutal defeat or failure. For some it’s an accident or illness which steals ones health and with it all the hope and possibility of the future…
For me, most recently, it was divorce and the end of my marriage of 16 years.
For almost 3 months when my marriage collapsed, I felt like I was emotionally stuck in the fetal position, unable to work, not wanting to talk to clients, unable to sleep and sometimes, barely wanting to eat. ( In the first month alone I lost over 25 lbs. When my friends asked me my weight loss secret, I could only say “I call it the high anxiety diet.”)
Everything in my world seemed like it was collapsing and I didn’t know what to do.
I had never experienced so much pain, doubt, anger, sadness, and fear in my life.
It seemed like for hours everyday I would spend processing… trying to find meaning, understanding and direction.
While I know that I still have healing to do, and there are still some moments that are REALLY hard, For the most part NOW, I am so HAPPY and absolutely LOVE MY LIFE. I am filled with more power, confidence and certainty about my purpose and mission in life than ever. I have never felt so blessed or so connected to God. I am OVERWHELMED with GRATITUDE on a daily basis. I feel flooded with abundance and opportunity, and my life is filled with deep loving and meaningful friendships.
In the last couple weeks I have spoken to many that are heartbroken. Some who just recently experienced heartbreak and some have felt stuck there for years… and it made me think to my own journey and ask, “what is it that brings true lasting healing to a heart?”
In no way do I pretend that this is the answer to everything… but perhaps in my lessons that I share here you may find something that serves you to open your heart and find more joy…
1) GO TO GOD. Lean into Him. It may sound cliché, but this was by far the most important peace and solace I could find. When nothing else helped, sometimes I would find Him in the scriptures or other inspirational books, in conversations with friends, in the laugh of my children or the awe-inspiring colors of a sunset.
For me, the places where I would feel the deepest connection was in going to the mountains, or a park or anywhere I could be alone with Him and just talk. Almost everyday I would have my “walks with God” where I would go to the playground of the elementary school by our house and pour out my soul to Him… and then I would ‘listen’ as He would speak through me whatever message I was needing to hear at the moment.
I learned at a deeper level than I had ever known how close He really is, and how much He really cares… and in knowing that the creator of the Universe actually cared for ME, I found the light of hope in the darkness of my own thoughts I was lost in. I learned that I am NEVER ALONE, and never will be.
Our relationship with God is like any relationship… the more you invest into building it the richer it will become. Go to Him often, offer Him your whole soul, and learn how to LISTEN.
There’s a part of me that believes that the reason God “blesses” us with trials is to call us back to HIM. He is always there with outstretched arms ready to receive us, if we’re willing to GO TO HIM.
When you pray, don’t ask Him to take away the weight of your trials… Ask that he will help you learn the lessons and to build the muscle to bear it gracefully.
2) SEEK FOR THE GIFT… Every trial has a blessing that it brings. Every sorrow can lead to joy. Every failure has the seed of an equivalent success.
Almost everyone looks back at the challenges they had to go through and can see how much they grew in the process.
I couldn’t begin to count the number of blessings that have come into my life because of what I went through. The lessons that I learned, the insights that I gained, the growth I was able to experience, the people that I was able to touch and the new friends that entered my life. Now, I can’t imagine my life without those gifts.
BREAKDOWNS are always the catalyst for BREAKTHROUGHS.
What is the diamond that lies hidden in the coals? What is the treasure that lies hidden in your experience?
One of my core beliefs is that “GOD IS ALWAYS TRYING TO UPGRADE MY LIFE.” … and that means sometimes he needs to demolish what I had to build something better. I just need to be willing to go through the process and always look for the gifts along the way.
3) FOCUS ON GRATITUDE for what you DO have, rather than dwelling on what you don’t have.
Gratitude is the energy of abundance and the secret to happiness… and you ALWAYS can find something to be grateful for.
Our challenge is that when we are suffering pain or loss, all we can see is that. It’s like when you stub your toe, or slam your finger in the door, and all you are aware of is that pain.
Imagine that there is a beautiful painting but on one corner there is a black smudge and all you do is focus on that smudge.
EXPAND YOUR AWARENESS and see how blessed you REALLY are. Look for things that are RIGHT with your body, with your relationships, with your finances, with your life.
Keep a GRATITUDE journal that you use to capture and remind yourself of the blessings that FILL YOUR LIFE.
And express that gratitude as much as you possibly can to those around you.
4) GET OUT AND SERVE… sometimes the best way to realize how much you have, is to serve those who have less.
For me it helped so much to find an opportunity to go to the Children's Hospital and do puppet shows for the kids, or to take Peanut Butter Sandwiches to the homeless. It helped for me to start re-engaging with my work and asking how I can serve my coaching clients at a higher level. It helped for me to just learn to see the pain that those around me were experiencing and to just ask how I could help.
When we stop focusing on our own problems and started focusing on SOLVING OTHERS PROBLEMS, we immediately began to feel more connected to our purpose and we realize, maybe we don’t have it so bad after all.
5) SPEAK WHAT YOU WANT… Words have power. Your words will help shape and create the life that you live. If you are always complaining about your problems you are attracting more of those problems into your life.
One of the reasons some stay stuck in depression or challenges for a long time is because they find “SECONDARY PAYOFF” for their problems. Meaning, if someone is upset, hurt or depressed and they share their pain with a friend or a sister, and that person validates their feelings, then all of the sudden they feel rewarded for expressing their problems and lose motivation to change it. Their problems or their “Victim Story” becomes their way of feeling connected, and then they begin to build an Identity around their problems.
Always be aware of what’s coming out of your mouth and ask…” Is this what I want to create?”
Use your words to build you up, not to tear you down. Don’t waste time or energy ‘complaining, blaming or shaming.’
6) TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY… Power comes from realizing your role in creating the results that you are experiencing in your life. When you try to blame someone else, you give away that power.
In relationships especially, it’s easy to point the finger and want the other person to change. But that never works.
In the failure of my marriage I had to spend a lot of time looking at my patterns, my weaknesses and the areas where I could have shown up better. I had to unravel all of my actions and subconscious beliefs and realize the fears that were driving me.
By taking accountability for what you HAVE created, you can then make CHOICES to create what you WANT.
7) LEARN THE LESSON… here in this school we call earth, we are constantly confronted with tests to help us learn and grow. The faster we learn the lesson from that test the sooner we ‘graduate’ from that challenge. The slower we are to learn, the longer the test lasts, the harder it becomes, and the more we need to ‘repeat’ that grade.
With every challenge I try to ask, “how did I create this? what am I learning? what’s great about this? What do I really want? and what can I do different next time?”
8 ) ASK FOR SUPPORT… you’re not in this journey alone. You’re not the only person who has been through this before. And you don’t have to face it by yourself.
We are ALL connected, have all faced similar challenges, and all have a core desire to help each other. So, don’t feel like you need to figure it out by yourself.
The strongest and wisest people ask for what they need. The weak and the foolish try to do it alone.
I was SOO blessed during those dark months of my life to have amazing friends, family and coaches that I could call on to be my “lifelines.” Sometimes we would just talk for 5 minutes, or sometimes it would be hours as they helped me process what I was going through. I was blessed with friends who could not only listen, but who also could hold me accountable, and help me shift my perceptions and beliefs.
I hope you have lifelines like that…. If not, create them. Be that friend that you would want to have.
9) STAY PRESENT… Release the past- don’t worry about the future- embrace the present, this is where the true gift lies.
So much of our pain comes from re-living past mistakes or projecting a negative outcome into the future.
FORGIVENESS is the key to freedom. If you’ve been hurt, you must learn to let go, otherwise you will continue to carry that hurt into the future. Unless you release it, that pain from the past will only be anchor that you drag along holding you back from what you want to experience in the future.
While it is good to get clear on what you WANT to create in the future, worrying about it will only cause pain in the present. Know where you want to go, and then get present to what you can do in this moment to create it.
When you are truly in the present, you can be filled with gratitude and realize that you are fine… and you will learn to trust that you always will be.
10) LOVE is ALWAYS THE ANSWER… Love YOURSELF by finding ways to nurture your spirit. Rekindle your love of LIFE by pursuing your passions. Love your BODY by exercising often and eating well. Love OTHERS by focusing on the best and sharing your heart, your gifts, and your soul.
LIVE COURAGEOUSLY with your HEART WIDE OPEN… I know this is hard, especially when you’ve been hurt, but I promise you, this is the fastest way to heal. Learn to LOVE AGAIN.
and remember always that YOU ARE LOVED.
So, it’s just past 3:30am as I have felt compelled to write this, and I wonder who will be read this. I only write what I feel inspired to share, hoping that it will touch and serve at least one person.
Maybe that person is you, or maybe it is someone that you know.
What I know is that all of us, at some time or another go through those dark moments when we are looking for a glimmer of hope on the horizon to keep us moving another day.
I know that in those hard times in my life I yearned for words to inspire me to lift up my head and stand a little taller and keep moving on.
Maybe this will be a spark or reminder of hope for someone. Maybe in these words someone will be inspired to keep moving forward no matter how heavy the burden they have been carrying.
My invitation is that if you find value in these lessons, that you share this or your own words with your friends.
For some it’s the death of a child, a family member or loved one. For some it’s the loss of an important relationship. For some it’s a brutal defeat or failure. For some it’s an accident or illness which steals ones health and with it all the hope and possibility of the future…
For me, most recently, it was divorce and the end of my marriage of 16 years.
For almost 3 months when my marriage collapsed, I felt like I was emotionally stuck in the fetal position, unable to work, not wanting to talk to clients, unable to sleep and sometimes, barely wanting to eat. ( In the first month alone I lost over 25 lbs. When my friends asked me my weight loss secret, I could only say “I call it the high anxiety diet.”)
Everything in my world seemed like it was collapsing and I didn’t know what to do.
I had never experienced so much pain, doubt, anger, sadness, and fear in my life.
It seemed like for hours everyday I would spend processing… trying to find meaning, understanding and direction.
While I know that I still have healing to do, and there are still some moments that are REALLY hard, For the most part NOW, I am so HAPPY and absolutely LOVE MY LIFE. I am filled with more power, confidence and certainty about my purpose and mission in life than ever. I have never felt so blessed or so connected to God. I am OVERWHELMED with GRATITUDE on a daily basis. I feel flooded with abundance and opportunity, and my life is filled with deep loving and meaningful friendships.
In the last couple weeks I have spoken to many that are heartbroken. Some who just recently experienced heartbreak and some have felt stuck there for years… and it made me think to my own journey and ask, “what is it that brings true lasting healing to a heart?”
In no way do I pretend that this is the answer to everything… but perhaps in my lessons that I share here you may find something that serves you to open your heart and find more joy…
1) GO TO GOD. Lean into Him. It may sound cliché, but this was by far the most important peace and solace I could find. When nothing else helped, sometimes I would find Him in the scriptures or other inspirational books, in conversations with friends, in the laugh of my children or the awe-inspiring colors of a sunset.
For me, the places where I would feel the deepest connection was in going to the mountains, or a park or anywhere I could be alone with Him and just talk. Almost everyday I would have my “walks with God” where I would go to the playground of the elementary school by our house and pour out my soul to Him… and then I would ‘listen’ as He would speak through me whatever message I was needing to hear at the moment.
I learned at a deeper level than I had ever known how close He really is, and how much He really cares… and in knowing that the creator of the Universe actually cared for ME, I found the light of hope in the darkness of my own thoughts I was lost in. I learned that I am NEVER ALONE, and never will be.
Our relationship with God is like any relationship… the more you invest into building it the richer it will become. Go to Him often, offer Him your whole soul, and learn how to LISTEN.
There’s a part of me that believes that the reason God “blesses” us with trials is to call us back to HIM. He is always there with outstretched arms ready to receive us, if we’re willing to GO TO HIM.
When you pray, don’t ask Him to take away the weight of your trials… Ask that he will help you learn the lessons and to build the muscle to bear it gracefully.
2) SEEK FOR THE GIFT… Every trial has a blessing that it brings. Every sorrow can lead to joy. Every failure has the seed of an equivalent success.
Almost everyone looks back at the challenges they had to go through and can see how much they grew in the process.
I couldn’t begin to count the number of blessings that have come into my life because of what I went through. The lessons that I learned, the insights that I gained, the growth I was able to experience, the people that I was able to touch and the new friends that entered my life. Now, I can’t imagine my life without those gifts.
BREAKDOWNS are always the catalyst for BREAKTHROUGHS.
What is the diamond that lies hidden in the coals? What is the treasure that lies hidden in your experience?
One of my core beliefs is that “GOD IS ALWAYS TRYING TO UPGRADE MY LIFE.” … and that means sometimes he needs to demolish what I had to build something better. I just need to be willing to go through the process and always look for the gifts along the way.
3) FOCUS ON GRATITUDE for what you DO have, rather than dwelling on what you don’t have.
Gratitude is the energy of abundance and the secret to happiness… and you ALWAYS can find something to be grateful for.
Our challenge is that when we are suffering pain or loss, all we can see is that. It’s like when you stub your toe, or slam your finger in the door, and all you are aware of is that pain.
Imagine that there is a beautiful painting but on one corner there is a black smudge and all you do is focus on that smudge.
EXPAND YOUR AWARENESS and see how blessed you REALLY are. Look for things that are RIGHT with your body, with your relationships, with your finances, with your life.
Keep a GRATITUDE journal that you use to capture and remind yourself of the blessings that FILL YOUR LIFE.
And express that gratitude as much as you possibly can to those around you.
4) GET OUT AND SERVE… sometimes the best way to realize how much you have, is to serve those who have less.
For me it helped so much to find an opportunity to go to the Children's Hospital and do puppet shows for the kids, or to take Peanut Butter Sandwiches to the homeless. It helped for me to start re-engaging with my work and asking how I can serve my coaching clients at a higher level. It helped for me to just learn to see the pain that those around me were experiencing and to just ask how I could help.
When we stop focusing on our own problems and started focusing on SOLVING OTHERS PROBLEMS, we immediately began to feel more connected to our purpose and we realize, maybe we don’t have it so bad after all.
5) SPEAK WHAT YOU WANT… Words have power. Your words will help shape and create the life that you live. If you are always complaining about your problems you are attracting more of those problems into your life.
One of the reasons some stay stuck in depression or challenges for a long time is because they find “SECONDARY PAYOFF” for their problems. Meaning, if someone is upset, hurt or depressed and they share their pain with a friend or a sister, and that person validates their feelings, then all of the sudden they feel rewarded for expressing their problems and lose motivation to change it. Their problems or their “Victim Story” becomes their way of feeling connected, and then they begin to build an Identity around their problems.
Always be aware of what’s coming out of your mouth and ask…” Is this what I want to create?”
Use your words to build you up, not to tear you down. Don’t waste time or energy ‘complaining, blaming or shaming.’
6) TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY… Power comes from realizing your role in creating the results that you are experiencing in your life. When you try to blame someone else, you give away that power.
In relationships especially, it’s easy to point the finger and want the other person to change. But that never works.
In the failure of my marriage I had to spend a lot of time looking at my patterns, my weaknesses and the areas where I could have shown up better. I had to unravel all of my actions and subconscious beliefs and realize the fears that were driving me.
By taking accountability for what you HAVE created, you can then make CHOICES to create what you WANT.
7) LEARN THE LESSON… here in this school we call earth, we are constantly confronted with tests to help us learn and grow. The faster we learn the lesson from that test the sooner we ‘graduate’ from that challenge. The slower we are to learn, the longer the test lasts, the harder it becomes, and the more we need to ‘repeat’ that grade.
With every challenge I try to ask, “how did I create this? what am I learning? what’s great about this? What do I really want? and what can I do different next time?”
8 ) ASK FOR SUPPORT… you’re not in this journey alone. You’re not the only person who has been through this before. And you don’t have to face it by yourself.
We are ALL connected, have all faced similar challenges, and all have a core desire to help each other. So, don’t feel like you need to figure it out by yourself.
The strongest and wisest people ask for what they need. The weak and the foolish try to do it alone.
I was SOO blessed during those dark months of my life to have amazing friends, family and coaches that I could call on to be my “lifelines.” Sometimes we would just talk for 5 minutes, or sometimes it would be hours as they helped me process what I was going through. I was blessed with friends who could not only listen, but who also could hold me accountable, and help me shift my perceptions and beliefs.
I hope you have lifelines like that…. If not, create them. Be that friend that you would want to have.
9) STAY PRESENT… Release the past- don’t worry about the future- embrace the present, this is where the true gift lies.
So much of our pain comes from re-living past mistakes or projecting a negative outcome into the future.
FORGIVENESS is the key to freedom. If you’ve been hurt, you must learn to let go, otherwise you will continue to carry that hurt into the future. Unless you release it, that pain from the past will only be anchor that you drag along holding you back from what you want to experience in the future.
While it is good to get clear on what you WANT to create in the future, worrying about it will only cause pain in the present. Know where you want to go, and then get present to what you can do in this moment to create it.
When you are truly in the present, you can be filled with gratitude and realize that you are fine… and you will learn to trust that you always will be.
10) LOVE is ALWAYS THE ANSWER… Love YOURSELF by finding ways to nurture your spirit. Rekindle your love of LIFE by pursuing your passions. Love your BODY by exercising often and eating well. Love OTHERS by focusing on the best and sharing your heart, your gifts, and your soul.
LIVE COURAGEOUSLY with your HEART WIDE OPEN… I know this is hard, especially when you’ve been hurt, but I promise you, this is the fastest way to heal. Learn to LOVE AGAIN.
and remember always that YOU ARE LOVED.
So, it’s just past 3:30am as I have felt compelled to write this, and I wonder who will be read this. I only write what I feel inspired to share, hoping that it will touch and serve at least one person.
Maybe that person is you, or maybe it is someone that you know.
What I know is that all of us, at some time or another go through those dark moments when we are looking for a glimmer of hope on the horizon to keep us moving another day.
I know that in those hard times in my life I yearned for words to inspire me to lift up my head and stand a little taller and keep moving on.
Maybe this will be a spark or reminder of hope for someone. Maybe in these words someone will be inspired to keep moving forward no matter how heavy the burden they have been carrying.
My invitation is that if you find value in these lessons, that you share this or your own words with your friends.
You never know who is going through one of those dark times of heart ache right now that you can touch simply by sharing.
Thursday 12 September 2013
FREEDOM
I believe it was Elbert Hubbard who once said that responsibility is the price
of freedom, this I got to learn in the hard way when I was in my one year
mandatory service for my nation. I will like to state here that my story is not
a fiction but a record of my past and which you will find out after reading
this article. I grew up in a family where my parents are strict and
disciplinary figure in my neighbourhood. As horrible has my neighbourhood was,
my mum still tried to inculcate a moral and religious background to me and my
brother. When I was in school, I have always tried to remember my mother’s word
and how well she has taught us. An adage that comes to my mind frequently was a
Yoruba proverb which says ‘’Ranti Omo Eni ti Won Se’’ it simply means that
remember the home which you came from. My university days were quite interesting
because of the guardians of my religious friends and elderly ones all around
me. They will make sure I do my assignment and also engage my service to the
Lord.
All things went well for me until I was posted for my National Youth
Service Corps in Nasarawa state. I was not moved just because I have schooled
in the north for six years which by now am used to. I quickly got all my
materials I needed and boarded on a bus from Niger State to Nasarawa State. The
Magaji Dan-Yamusa
Permanent Orientation Camp in Keffi was the third
best orientation camp across the nation. I was so excited on the site of the
beautiful camp, after the whole registration and accreditation exercise, we
were told to pick a block and also a bunk where we will stay because I was one
of the first corp member to be in camp I took a very good spot and I was later
joined by a guy Sam. Sam graduated from
my school also but a set before me and we clicked together forming a
partnership that will later be called ‘’mafia corper’’. Sam was a heavy smoker and a drunkard, while
for me I only take one to two bottles and that’s all for the night. Sam taught
me how to drink till we will have to be punished by soldiers the next day on
the parade ground. I became so expert that I don’t only take one drink but also
mix two to three drinks together just to get high as they say. At this point,
my mind was always telling me that freedom is nothing else than the right to
live in our own judgement which at this moment was made by Sam. After the two
week orientation camp, I was posted to Ministry of Works and Housing in Lafia.
My Community Development Service was my football team
which I engage in while in camp. I was chosen as the captain of my batch and
because of that I got a good posting and to the capital city. I got my own
apartment in Lafia because of the lifestyle I was living in camp will not be
tolerated in the family house. I got to make new friends from my football team
and a very girl named Chioma. Chioma was a tom-boy who tries to balance a
sociable life and a religious life. She invited me to her church which
I went
to and i invited her out with my guys for a drink which she often join us.
After some months, she was really into it and she was competing with the other
guys when it comes to getting high. I remembered a favourite quote of Chioma,
‘’I hope for nothing, I fear nothing, I am free to do whatever I want.’’ Chioma
and I engaged in our usual fun of life together. At this point, we always crave
for the night because I know am free to do whatever I like and desire.
After four months, I had a new neighbour who at the
first discussion we had spoke to me about character and attitude we should
portrait as a corper. He observed our movement for some time and he prayed to
God to make us realise our potential and reason for having this freedom. After wasting six month of my service year, i later
find out that freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to
make mistakes. I have made my mistakes with my friends and we have wasted
precious time in drinking and flirting around but thank God for his mercies
that found us back to our moral sense and his kingdom. I have being to places to speak about youth reformation
and I thank God that am now a motivational speaker using my life has an example
to the youth around me. The truth will set you free but first it will piss you
off. The
most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your
reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your
ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale
revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's
got to happen inside first. I tell you the youth getting ready for the youth
service should know that freedom has a way of destroying things and it must be
guided with moral virtues and also the fear of God. I leave you with a quote of
my own that says ‘’ Freedom is nothing but a chance to be a better person.
Friday 23 August 2013
A woman in an Era
The
Woman in an era
It
is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit
belongs to the woman who is actually in the era, whose face is marred by dust
and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and
again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does
actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great
devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the
end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst knows the eternal
glory awaits.
She
made a very loving home for all. No fight between siblings could end without
hugs and kisses, although hugs never needed a reason in her house. Singing and
dancing were encouraged, except at the dinner table. The love for her family
and her faith in God somehow gave her the strength not only to go on but to
love life without bitterness and in-still in all of us gratitude for every day
we have together. I know it may sound greedy to want more days with a woman,
who lived long, but the fact that my mother was 52 does not diminish, it only
magnifies, the enormity of the room whose door has now quietly shut. Today, as we remember heroes of our time, I
could not think of a better hero than my mom. Ackerweld said; There is need of
a sound body, and even more of a sound mind. But above mind and above body
stands character - the sum of those qualities which we mean when we speak of a
man's force and courage, of his good faith and sense of honour. My mum instinct
the best character in us and that what makes our live so beautiful in this era.
The
world’s battlefields have been in the heart chiefly; more heroism has been
displayed in the household and the closet than on the most memorable
battlefields in history. My mum is the hero of our era. As I remember you
today, I say a big thank you for your moral and character in-still in me. You
live on in our heart MAMI.
Friday 14 June 2013
Top 30 things a woman should have close to her thirties
30 is an important milestone in a woman’s life. It is a very special time in her life. She is at a time when she has left childhood behind and has started enjoying adulthood.
If you are a woman close to your thirties, this is my list of 30 things you should have:
1. An education – This is the best investment you could ever make in your life. Continue learning because as long as you keep learning, you keep growing.
2. A vocation: In addition to your education, become a professional in your career or area of specialisation. Get trained and get the necessary qualifications.
3. A savings account in your own name (and enough money in it) – One of the wisest investments you can make is starting a savings account early. Apportion at least 10% of your earnings to this account and watch it grow.
4. A sense of humor, style and purpose – Humor is very attractive and will get you through some tough patches. A sense of style lets you stand out from your peers and having purpose ensures you pursue your goals with focus.
5. The wisdom to fall in love with your eyes open – Know what you want out of your love relationships and avoid being carried away with the ‘feeling’ of love.
6. The perfect suit to wear for a job interview – As you move higher in life, there’s sure to be numerous job interviews. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so make sure your suit gives the very best first impression.
7. A set of matching luggage – You may need to go on vacation sometime. Do it in style with your set of matching luggage.
8. A matching set of lacy bikini – Who knows? You may need to relax at the beach when you go off on that vacation or go for a swim anytime soon. Make sure your bikini is just perfect for the occasion.
9. A recipe for a meal you are almost perfect at – Even if it’s something basic, make sure you are almost perfect at preparing one complete meal.
10. A first love (and several other loves) – The magic of first love is as painful when it’s over, but the best part of it is that after you cry your eyes out, you let go and become wiser. And when you love again, you will know how to keep it. This time, longer.
11. A broken heart (and the knowledge that you can survive it) – A broken heart means that you tried…at least. Only time (and girlfriends) can heal your broken heart. You can survive it….and love again.
12. One friend that makes you laugh….and one you can always run to – What can we do without close friends? Make friends for life and be a friend yourself.
13. A childhood you are grateful for (though not perfect) – None of us chose our childhood, but we can be grateful for all it taught us (perfect or not).
14. A plan for the future you are looking forward to – Without a plan for your future, how do you know when you get there? Sit down with yourself and write where you see yourself in 3, 5, 10 years and make a plan to get there.
15. A good skin care routine – Glowing skin is the dream of every woman. But it does not just happen. Get a good skin care regimen that is best for your skin type and watch your skin glow.
16. A good hairdresser – A woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Get a hairdresser who understands your hair and can help you maintain it in the best possible way.
17. A tailor who can make drop dead outfits – The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Get a tailor who knows what style really is.
18. A spiritual foundation and faith in God – Maintaining a relationship with God is the best foundation for life. He is your creator and redeemer, so get closer to Him each passing day.
19. A drop dead gorgeous photo of yourself - to remind you that you are beautiful.
20. A best friend – If you fall down, your best friend will pick you up. If you need a hand or a shoulder to cry on, your best friend will be there.
21. A dream - it all starts with a dream. Dream! Let your imagination run wild while you fill up a blank sheet of paper with everything you want to be, do or have. This will keep you going even in the tough times.
22. The phone number of someone who will drop everything and come when you call.
23. A perfectly fitted bra - Wearing the right sized bra is comfortable, helps your posture and aids the lymph flow inside your breasts. Also, since your breasts will spend most of their time in a bra, should they not be comfortable?
24. A pair of jeans that fit just right - Most ladies will wear a pair of jeans at least once a week. Jeans can also be worn for informal and semi-formal events. Having one that fits just right would make you stand out from the crowd.
25. A handbag you can never get tired of - Handbags are one of those accessories a lady can’t do without. A nice, reasonably sized leather handbag will always do the trick.
26. An average proficiency in Microsoft Word and Excel – No matter who you are or what you do, you need to be computer savvy. Start with basic Microsoft Word and Excel, but don’t stop there.
27. Confidence – You are a woman. You are important. Carry yourself as one.
28. Humility – Modesty and an unassuming nature are not signs of weakness. Only a very strong and confident person can be humble. Refuse to get puffed up but remain humble.
29. The guts to say No without feeling guilty – People will always need you to do things for them. Do as much as you can but never choke yourself just to please people. Sometimes you just need to say No.
30. A competitive streak: A desire to be the best and to stand out from the crowd. Make yourself more productive so that you remain relevant.
If you are a woman close to your thirties, this is my list of 30 things you should have:
1. An education – This is the best investment you could ever make in your life. Continue learning because as long as you keep learning, you keep growing.
2. A vocation: In addition to your education, become a professional in your career or area of specialisation. Get trained and get the necessary qualifications.
3. A savings account in your own name (and enough money in it) – One of the wisest investments you can make is starting a savings account early. Apportion at least 10% of your earnings to this account and watch it grow.
4. A sense of humor, style and purpose – Humor is very attractive and will get you through some tough patches. A sense of style lets you stand out from your peers and having purpose ensures you pursue your goals with focus.
5. The wisdom to fall in love with your eyes open – Know what you want out of your love relationships and avoid being carried away with the ‘feeling’ of love.
6. The perfect suit to wear for a job interview – As you move higher in life, there’s sure to be numerous job interviews. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so make sure your suit gives the very best first impression.
7. A set of matching luggage – You may need to go on vacation sometime. Do it in style with your set of matching luggage.
8. A matching set of lacy bikini – Who knows? You may need to relax at the beach when you go off on that vacation or go for a swim anytime soon. Make sure your bikini is just perfect for the occasion.
9. A recipe for a meal you are almost perfect at – Even if it’s something basic, make sure you are almost perfect at preparing one complete meal.
10. A first love (and several other loves) – The magic of first love is as painful when it’s over, but the best part of it is that after you cry your eyes out, you let go and become wiser. And when you love again, you will know how to keep it. This time, longer.
11. A broken heart (and the knowledge that you can survive it) – A broken heart means that you tried…at least. Only time (and girlfriends) can heal your broken heart. You can survive it….and love again.
12. One friend that makes you laugh….and one you can always run to – What can we do without close friends? Make friends for life and be a friend yourself.
13. A childhood you are grateful for (though not perfect) – None of us chose our childhood, but we can be grateful for all it taught us (perfect or not).
14. A plan for the future you are looking forward to – Without a plan for your future, how do you know when you get there? Sit down with yourself and write where you see yourself in 3, 5, 10 years and make a plan to get there.
15. A good skin care routine – Glowing skin is the dream of every woman. But it does not just happen. Get a good skin care regimen that is best for your skin type and watch your skin glow.
16. A good hairdresser – A woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Get a hairdresser who understands your hair and can help you maintain it in the best possible way.
17. A tailor who can make drop dead outfits – The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Get a tailor who knows what style really is.
18. A spiritual foundation and faith in God – Maintaining a relationship with God is the best foundation for life. He is your creator and redeemer, so get closer to Him each passing day.
19. A drop dead gorgeous photo of yourself - to remind you that you are beautiful.
20. A best friend – If you fall down, your best friend will pick you up. If you need a hand or a shoulder to cry on, your best friend will be there.
21. A dream - it all starts with a dream. Dream! Let your imagination run wild while you fill up a blank sheet of paper with everything you want to be, do or have. This will keep you going even in the tough times.
22. The phone number of someone who will drop everything and come when you call.
23. A perfectly fitted bra - Wearing the right sized bra is comfortable, helps your posture and aids the lymph flow inside your breasts. Also, since your breasts will spend most of their time in a bra, should they not be comfortable?
24. A pair of jeans that fit just right - Most ladies will wear a pair of jeans at least once a week. Jeans can also be worn for informal and semi-formal events. Having one that fits just right would make you stand out from the crowd.
25. A handbag you can never get tired of - Handbags are one of those accessories a lady can’t do without. A nice, reasonably sized leather handbag will always do the trick.
26. An average proficiency in Microsoft Word and Excel – No matter who you are or what you do, you need to be computer savvy. Start with basic Microsoft Word and Excel, but don’t stop there.
27. Confidence – You are a woman. You are important. Carry yourself as one.
28. Humility – Modesty and an unassuming nature are not signs of weakness. Only a very strong and confident person can be humble. Refuse to get puffed up but remain humble.
29. The guts to say No without feeling guilty – People will always need you to do things for them. Do as much as you can but never choke yourself just to please people. Sometimes you just need to say No.
30. A competitive streak: A desire to be the best and to stand out from the crowd. Make yourself more productive so that you remain relevant.
Thursday 13 June 2013
9 Ways to Know When You're in Love
This is a question I have to consider for my characters in each romance novel I write, and one I had asked myself several times in the past after meeting one or two people. There are some people you meet and you just know they’re a fantasy or fancy which will fade even the next day. And there are those that tug at your heart and you begin to wonder, could they be THE ONE?
The truth is that if we’re not sure about this, whether deciding to allow a friendship develop into something more or taking the decision to get married, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. These are some of the pointers I came up with to recognize that special person. They are by no means comprehensive and I will not presume to speak for everyone.
1. They’re in your future: This means that when you visualize your future, say 10 to 20 years ahead, you can actually see yourself with this person. They can fit into or support your long term personal as well as professional goals. You also share the same core values that will make living together enjoyable.
2. They become number one in your priorities: We all have our priorities in life, even though these might change with time and situation. Love usually happens at different times for most of us depending on our seasons and when we are ready. So when you fall in love, that person comes at the top of your to-do list and you cannot get them off it.
3. You welcome compromise: Love is a feeling of togetherness and mostly leads to two people spending lots of time in close proximity. You find that with love, a relationship has less disagreements because each person is happy to give in during times of disagreement; and even when you do find yourselves on completely opposing sides, you make up easily afterwards. The beauty of love is that it allows you to see the minuses and overlook them, because what you see at the end of the day is the person you love and not their quirks. Remember love should be for better or for worse.
4. You want to spend time together and they make you feel good: You’re happy and feel high, songs and books begin to make sense, the world is more beautiful. So you want to spend moments together, you talk, go out – to eat, to movies, plays, etc. Being in love makes these periods an enjoyable one for both people, something to look forward to. You also enjoy quiet times together, because there will be down times when none of you is in the mood to go partying and the like.
5. The pain of the past is healed: Love heals and when you do fall in love, there is the tendency that you begin to forget any pains you may have in the past, either from childhood or any failed relationships. It may just be that the person you’re in love with is happy to hear you speak about such pain, or you can be your real self around them, or they give you the support you need to seek adequate help.
6. You worry about their well-being, you want to know all about them: When you fall in love, the object of your affection burrows into your heart. You find that you begin to care about their welfare. Have they eaten, is their car running well, do they have their finances sorted? You ask more questions, you are happy to squeeze time out of your hectic schedule to meet their friends, family and co-workers. You ask the mum their first words, at what age they walked, you name it.
7. There is chemistry: Of course! LOL…Maybe I should have said this one first? Chemistry is a big part of love because we’re all sexual beings and being able to express ourselves through love-making is one of the glues that hold relationships together. However, you have to realize that sex has to be within the context of marriage. There should be no issue of one person coercing or forcing the other into something they’re not ready or willing to do. You should not change your values to satisfy the other person.
8. They can affect you deeply in their actions: Who doesn’t know this? There’s the saying that those you love are the ones with the power to hurt you the most. Yes, and this is why some of us are so scared and afraid of falling in love. Not because we’ve been hurt before, but because we do not want to open ourselves to future pain. So love is a decision, a choice you make to take that risk.
9. You can be yourself with no pretense: If you cannot do this, your love might not be able to last or sustain itself. Most of us wear masks on a daily basis, at work, school, church, with strangers and outsiders. When you fall in love, you want to make a space where you can come home and feel calm and relaxed without worrying about pretending to be what you’re not. At the same time, you find that you are willing to change for the better to please them, so you upgrade your wardrobe, improve your hygiene, party less so as to spend more time, etc.
Finally, these are just some of the ways to recognize love, many more abound. Also, love is personal and for each individual, there may be a different experience. However, love is also universal, so if you see that your love is very different and in a way that negates what others experience, like various forms of abuse, control, etc, then it may not be love. I hope no one finds themselves in this situation and have the support to help them get out if they do.
True love is beautiful and no matter what happens, remains the thing we all search for. May we all find and experience true love.
The truth is that if we’re not sure about this, whether deciding to allow a friendship develop into something more or taking the decision to get married, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. These are some of the pointers I came up with to recognize that special person. They are by no means comprehensive and I will not presume to speak for everyone.
1. They’re in your future: This means that when you visualize your future, say 10 to 20 years ahead, you can actually see yourself with this person. They can fit into or support your long term personal as well as professional goals. You also share the same core values that will make living together enjoyable.
2. They become number one in your priorities: We all have our priorities in life, even though these might change with time and situation. Love usually happens at different times for most of us depending on our seasons and when we are ready. So when you fall in love, that person comes at the top of your to-do list and you cannot get them off it.
3. You welcome compromise: Love is a feeling of togetherness and mostly leads to two people spending lots of time in close proximity. You find that with love, a relationship has less disagreements because each person is happy to give in during times of disagreement; and even when you do find yourselves on completely opposing sides, you make up easily afterwards. The beauty of love is that it allows you to see the minuses and overlook them, because what you see at the end of the day is the person you love and not their quirks. Remember love should be for better or for worse.
4. You want to spend time together and they make you feel good: You’re happy and feel high, songs and books begin to make sense, the world is more beautiful. So you want to spend moments together, you talk, go out – to eat, to movies, plays, etc. Being in love makes these periods an enjoyable one for both people, something to look forward to. You also enjoy quiet times together, because there will be down times when none of you is in the mood to go partying and the like.
5. The pain of the past is healed: Love heals and when you do fall in love, there is the tendency that you begin to forget any pains you may have in the past, either from childhood or any failed relationships. It may just be that the person you’re in love with is happy to hear you speak about such pain, or you can be your real self around them, or they give you the support you need to seek adequate help.
6. You worry about their well-being, you want to know all about them: When you fall in love, the object of your affection burrows into your heart. You find that you begin to care about their welfare. Have they eaten, is their car running well, do they have their finances sorted? You ask more questions, you are happy to squeeze time out of your hectic schedule to meet their friends, family and co-workers. You ask the mum their first words, at what age they walked, you name it.
7. There is chemistry: Of course! LOL…Maybe I should have said this one first? Chemistry is a big part of love because we’re all sexual beings and being able to express ourselves through love-making is one of the glues that hold relationships together. However, you have to realize that sex has to be within the context of marriage. There should be no issue of one person coercing or forcing the other into something they’re not ready or willing to do. You should not change your values to satisfy the other person.
8. They can affect you deeply in their actions: Who doesn’t know this? There’s the saying that those you love are the ones with the power to hurt you the most. Yes, and this is why some of us are so scared and afraid of falling in love. Not because we’ve been hurt before, but because we do not want to open ourselves to future pain. So love is a decision, a choice you make to take that risk.
9. You can be yourself with no pretense: If you cannot do this, your love might not be able to last or sustain itself. Most of us wear masks on a daily basis, at work, school, church, with strangers and outsiders. When you fall in love, you want to make a space where you can come home and feel calm and relaxed without worrying about pretending to be what you’re not. At the same time, you find that you are willing to change for the better to please them, so you upgrade your wardrobe, improve your hygiene, party less so as to spend more time, etc.
Finally, these are just some of the ways to recognize love, many more abound. Also, love is personal and for each individual, there may be a different experience. However, love is also universal, so if you see that your love is very different and in a way that negates what others experience, like various forms of abuse, control, etc, then it may not be love. I hope no one finds themselves in this situation and have the support to help them get out if they do.
True love is beautiful and no matter what happens, remains the thing we all search for. May we all find and experience true love.
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